


:pensive: :gun:

by boomx4



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comedy, No Romance, Third Wheel Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28753803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomx4/pseuds/boomx4
Summary: haha, meta humor!dream has a private server with all of his other youtuber associates.  surprisingly, they all have lives outside of youtube!  who knew?  they also all hate each other.
Kudos: 11





	1. wilbur loses a woman

**Author's Note:**

> i don't mean to jab at nsfw writers, i just thought it'd be a funny topic to write about
> 
> (THIS IS ALSO UNFINISHED UH)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> techno, tom, dream, george, sapnap, niki, wilbur, and fundy talk in vc. wilbur also goes to the bookstore and sees a very awesome woman. but his acquaintances ruin that for him :sunglasses:

george : I've literally just realized that a million people or more ship dream and i

dream : haha yeah it's weird, we don't even have chemistry

fundy : And it's not even fucking canon

techno : shipping is strange

techno : but so is the blight of youtuber idealization 

sapnap : Yes we know you have a degree

sapnap : OKAY WAIT YOU GUYS THERE ARE APPROXIMATELY 50,733 FANFICS OF DNF

george : no, you have to be lying...

sapnap : yeah, okay i made that number up... but i know there are at least 1000

dream : wait what?? how do you know? are you a closet dnfer??

sapnap : shut the fuck up dumbass i was bored

sapnap : get in vc losers we're gonna read some literature

archiveofourown.org/works/[placeholder url]

* * *

♤ ♤ ♤

 _Three almost synchronized pings were heard_ _in the call, Sapnap entered first, Dream entered next, and George entered last._

"This beautiful work of art is called-"

"Shouldn't we wait for others to join?" George interrupted.

"Fiiiine," Sapnap drawled, "but only because I want more people to listen to this marvelous piece of _oh so very realistic fiction. Like wooow, the parallels to real life are uncanny._ Such as George being a stripper who sleeps with his clientele." 

"WHAT THE FUCK? AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHA," Dream wheezed, "that has to bea joke. There is no way somebody decided to sit down and write their favorite minecraft youtuber having sex and not have it be satirical." Sapnap made a peculiar sound, like a scoff and a laugh.

"I dunno, the comments seem pretty serious."

"My god," George breathed out, "I said I was straight."

"..."

"..."

"The thing is," Sapnap cut off. "You don't really seem like..."

"SAPNAP, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU‽" George screeched, "CAN A WELL GROOMED PERSON NOT BE STRAIGHT‽" Sapnap giggled at how pressed George got. 

"Yes."

_ping_

It's Fundy.

"Hi guys, sorry I didn't join earlier. I was feeding B-"

"Does George act gay?" Sapnap blurted.

"What kind of question is that?" 

"THANK YOU!" George exhaled. 

"To answer Sapnap's question-" Dream started. 

"DREAM! Don't finish that sentence. Can we move on?" George whined. 

"Fiiiiiine." Sapnap heaved, as if it was the most laborious task to ever exist. In actuality, he felt kind of awful for teasing his friend. 

* * *

♤ ♤ ♤

sapnap : @everyone GET IN VC LOSERS

niki : I'm a _loser? D:_

sapnap : Not you.

niki : Thank you!

wilbur : Actually, I'm driving to the bookstore rn sorry

sapnap : you can go to the bookstore and be in vc

wilbur : Yeah, but if i talk I'll look like a schizophrenic talking to himself 

techno : so? what's wrong with schizophrenia 

wilbur : nothing

techno : uh huh? then why are you so scared of being seen as a schizophrenic 

wilbur : I never said that

techno : then stop being a pussy and join vc

* * *

♤ ♤ ♤

_ping_

It's Niki! 

_ping_

It's Wilbur.

_ping_

It's Techno.

_ping_

It's Tommyinnit.

"WHAT'S UP BITCHES‽" Tommy yelled. Wilbur rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to act like that off camera." Wilbur sighed, "Believe it or not, your internet persona is extremely obnoxious." Tommy scoffed, offended. 

"At least I'm not a lovesick simp." 

"Are you serious? You talk about women all the time!"

"Wilbur."

"Niki?"

"You're fighting with a 16 year old. If you win, it'll still be pathetic."

"Sorry." Wilbur muttered, face turning red. "I've arrived at the bookstore, so I won't talk." Wilbur muted himself. Sapnap pulled up the fic. 

"I came here for literature." 

"I put the link in chat, Techno." Sapnap shot back, annoyed. "Literally right after I said we were gonna read literature." Techno inhaled, about to berate Sapnap's ass, but instead, Tommy interrupted.

"Why would you ever think that sending this in chat was a good idea?" Tommy asked, stern. A wave of silence instilled in the call. "Seriously, this really wasn't responsible in a server with 7 minors."

"Wait, what? I didn't click the link," Niki interjected, confused. 

"It's an explicit Dream x George fanfiction." 

_tommyinnit left the call_

_niki left the call_

"OH NO, WE'RE GONNA GET CANCELLED SHIIIT" Techno groaned, jokingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh im gonna get cancelled for talking about gay stereotypes and schizophrenia casually oh noooooooo, how devastating!


	2. trivia : what is the world record pig dick size?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's a tip (heh), it's 3 x 6.

antfrost : What went on in vc last night?

sapnap : we read a fanfic

antfrost : Oh, okay

antfrost : What about?

sapnap : An alternate universe where George is a stripper

antfrost : Wasn't Tommy in the vc?

sapnap : we peer pressured him to leave

tommyinnit : That's not what happened at all!

sapnap : no, I'm sure we made you leave

tommyinnit : I told you not to send explicit things in chat, and then I left

sapnap : no, I vividly remember Dream kicking you

dream : I second that

tommyinnit : this is gaslighting, I hate you all

sapnap : did you know a pig’s dick size is on average 9 inches

tubbo : :|  
  
quackity : :[

techno : No?

georgenotfound : 😐

dreamwastaken : 🤤

dreamwastaken : WRONG EMOJI

dreamwastaken : 🤨**

sapnap : why the 🤨 face, dream? according to the fans’s beliefs, you should be well aware of a pig’s dick size 

techno : is that implying that they think dream had sex with a pig???????

sapnap : no, they think he had sex with you

techno : ha

techno : hahahahhahahaha 

techno : HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

**Author's Note:**

> I literally have not watched any of these people what am i doing


End file.
